A sad one, part II

Goodbye to John and Aunt Mary. You were both wonderful people and we will miss you. I'm glad that you're no longer in pain and I hope that whatever happens after we die is peaceful (and perhaps tropical?) because you certainly both deserve it.

Aunt Mary,
I will never forget you. I loved playing cards with you when all the old people were gabbing about church. i love that you said whatever needed to be said and never changed who you were based on your company. you rocked!

John,
I don't know what to say except that this is too soon. I know that you made every second count, so I hope that you feel like you were ready. your girls will not forget you because they will be surrounded by people every day that will tell them stories and show them photos. There will be things about them that your wife will recognize as you, and they will hear those stories too. you will be missed by everyone who knew you. I'm glad that you're suffering is over. You put up a hell of a fight.

love,
hippy.

a sad one

My thoughts today go out to my friend John, who is dying, and to his family that is going through such a tough time.

John has been fighting a large brian tumor for years with more positive energy and optimism than you could ever imagine someone could in such a desparate situation. Unfortunately, his clinical trials had unforeseen side effects. How long he will make it is unknown, but it seems like it could be a matter of weeks. My heart is with his family, particularly his wife and 2 little girls who will miss him so much. I hope that Alandra and Eleanor know what a wonderful man there father is. John, you will be missed by so many. We all love you.

The elusive "12"

Well, I'm not one for resolutions because I prefer to either make the changes I think need to be made immediately (I am a very impatient person), or not at all if I don't think they are necessary.

HOWEVER...

I lost quite a bit of weight post-cutie pie baby, and now its back in force, and for no reason I can figure...except there wasn't ever really a reason. Am I on the treadmill every day? Nope. But I don't eat a lot of crap - I don't eat a lot of anything really, so I am very frustrated by people who eat somewhere between crappy and healthy still end up somewhere around a size 12. Is size 12 the envy of the world - or even considered healthy? Probably not. But oh, how I long for size 12. How is it that I can eat a muffin for breakfast/lunch and then dinner, with 1 small coffee a day, adequate water and maybe one soda and GAIN 20lbs in 3mos? It doesn't make in f*king sense. I have had it. I cannot breastfeed for my whole life to manage weight!

So my solution this time* is to try increasing "enzyme-rich" foods. Does this sounds like a gimmick from a book? Well, it is**. I am willing to try anything. The concept is basically that if your body is deleted of nutrients, it will pull from other sources for the most essential functions, which leads to weight gain and health problems. Its not a diet, but a change in choice habit. I haven't finished reading the book, but I think the lady recommends no meat or dairy. I'm not prepared to dive into this cold turkey, nor do I intend to 180 my life and never eat cheese fondue ever again. But I figure I could integrate some of these ideas and see if I feel the "Life Force" within....

Anywho, this involves eating almonds...well, nuts in general. And I am not a fan of almonds, so I am trying to trick myself into loving them. Wish me luck.

oh, and in the meantime I have resumed pilates*** and instead of 2 days a week on the eliptical, lets make it 3.


*past solutions have included atkins while exercising 7(yes, 7)days a week, pilates with swimming, swimming with no soda or bread products, eating only snacks...the list goes on. Even my doc is slightly baffled that I don't lose weight.

**"The Life Force Diet" by Michelle Schoffro Cook

***Had to stop pilates right when I was getting really good because you can't do it when you're pregnant.