I made so much food, and it was all ready at the same time! Victory is mine! I do have about a solid week's worth of leftovers, but hey, that's what Thanksgiving is for, right?

This yrs menu (the first I have hosted):

Spinach, pear and parmesan salad

Butternut Squash and Leek Soup

Cider glaze turkey with apple gravy

praline-crusted sweet potato casserole

corn souffle

Sausage, Leek & cranberry stuffing

cranberry sauce

mashed potatoes

green beens with shallots

wild ride and tofu stuffed acorn squash

herbed buttermilk biscuits (with leftover hearb butter from turkey)

Pumpkin chiffon pie

ta da! Really, it was a huge success and basically all I wanted was for it to all be hot about the same time. A huge accomplishment with one oven and 4 burners

I am absolutely dumbfounded. I just offended a bunch of my friends and family completely unintentionally by posting some old photos on the web. Many of these pictures are ones that people have asked for copies of in the past but I never had the ability to scan. Now they are embarrased by them? I seriously misjudged. I really thought that most people would be kinda excited to see pictures from 10yrs ago to see how things have changed, and yet it had the exact opposite effect. I feel completely horrible.

Internet targeted marketing will lose a law suit someday

I HATE how the internet seems to remember every site I have ever visited, every word that has ever crossed through my email, every product I've ever bought on Amazon or other shopping sites. The targeted ads all over the screen based on this limited info is starting be excessive.

1. I AM NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE! Stop asking me if I'm expecting and need to register via Facebook, Myspace, Gmail, etc.
2. I don't need to see before/after pictures of other people's belly flab due to amazing post-pardum diets and exercise regimes. Its gross, get it off my screen.
3. Just because I bought my husband a scifi game 2yrs ago does not mean I want attend the national comic book festival, enter to win a signed graphic novel, or read spoilers for Battlestar Galatica
4. I GOT MARRIED over a yr ago! Leave me alone Macys!


It will be like the facebook suicide....someone somewhere is going to feel so bad about their belly fat that they are going to off themselves, and the internet WILL be to blame. It won't be me, my belly fat and I go wayyyy back

I love Christmas!

I can't wait!!!! I can start being in the Christmas spirit without being scolded next Friday! Yahoooo!

I already put up the bathroom decor - mostly because I just painted and I didn't see the point of putting up the other stuff for only 5 days. So let the season begin...

I kinda screwed myself, but its okay to be mad at my boss for it, right?

So here's the deal:
my assistant manager and myself work ridiculous hours - like not just a lot of them, but at odd hours of the day. For example, my shift is 5pm-3am - and once a day I do a turn around where I then open at 9am. All of this I have accepted begrudgingly because I need my job...grrr...
We ofter work extra days as well, so its pretty much a standard practice around here to try and get those days back when it comes to holiday break periods.

This week, I took my normal Sunday/Monday (following assts' Friday/Saturday). What I didn't keep in mind this week, was that my businesses close this coming Friday, which means that we will both be off Saturday - her normal day off. Therefore, she is basically owed another day in my opinion.
Now what my boss would say is, you shouldn't have taken off both Sunday and Monday because you will have Saturday. Well, I didn't think that far ahead! Too damn bad. Rather than address this with boss-man, I decided to take care of it myself and just appoint today my asst's other day off to make things even. I already had coverage scheduled by coincidence because I was initally scheduled for an 8am mtg before I worked a closing shift.

So I tell asst to take the day off and not to worry about it. If bossman calls, I will make some shit up. Which I end up doing. I explain that I owe her a day off from extra days worked in October - which is actually true, but not the real reason that I did it. Well, now bossman calls late tonight and finds out that I have additional coverage and bugs out. He calls my cellphone frantically, and leaves me a nasty sarcastic message about the situation - insisting I call him back.

I call 5 times I think, and he never answers. I leave messages, he doesn't call back. I'm like a goddamn monkey starving behind a darkened glass window with a bunch of people with bananas on the other side going, "nah...." I HATE feeling like a chimp, and I suspect this is precisely the effect my boss is going for.

So I am a little mad at him right now, mostly because I work harder than all of his other managers combined, and part of me feels I am owed some small gesture of understanding in this case. But I guess I kinda left out the other part of the truth, so I guess I'm an ass too.

The worst part of all this: because I care so much about my performance, my job and my reputation - any shread of doubt I have in myself and my job security surfaces right about now, and I will not get any sleep tonight. not a wink. In fact, I only got 2hrs last night, and I have to get up in 7hrs and I am still here typing and hoping that putting all this in writing will ease my not-really-guilty conscience and make this all go away.

Here's to hoping.

Monday, my Sunday

Sorry I am not creative enough to come up with catchy title to tonight's entry.

I am sick, the baby is sick. This makes for an extremely miserable combination. He can't sleep from snot clogging his face, and I can't stay awake to help him because I am dosed on Nyquil. Dan is painting the bathroom and raking??? Okay, well not really. Well, yes he did rake and paint, but that is not to imply that he is not being helpful in taking care of the sick. Actually, he is much better at taking care of us than he is at raking.

I am starting to get REALLY excited about the upcoming birth of my 2 nieces (part of me wants it to be a boy and a girl - for a number of reasons, but I think this would seriously screw up the nursery that is already in the works. Don't get me wrong - 2 girls will be fantastic!). It shouldn't be more than 5 more weeks- and I bet my sis-in-law wished it were right now. Well, all I have to say to say to her is at least you are guaranteed to deliver 2wks early, rather than being induced for lack of any other option 2wks late!!!....but of course, I totally feel for you because 2 babies is going to be madness! mwwaaahahaaaa!

I am wondering why she didn't register for laundry detergent??? does she not know?

anyway, the real accomplishment today was: nothing. I went to Target because I needed a break, and I love looking at Target xmas stuff, baby stuff, all stuff really. I came home with very little - all that considered.
To conclude, the worst part of my day is that it is officially Tuesday, which means I have to go to work in 10hrs. grrrrrrr. I guess I should be glad I have a job though, so I will stop complaining.

I Hate Students.

I hate Yale students. They are lazy, self absorbed, and doomed for greatness for no reason other than that their sheet of paper says Yale.

I have 3 student managers, and not one of them is worth 2 cents. They can't count, they can't show up on time - and get this - one of them was actually angry at me when I told him I don't pay him $17hr (no, that's not a typo) to do his homework with the office door closed because - guess - the music in the store was making it hard for him to focus!
These kids work 2hrs a night. I don't think its asking much that they actually work for those 2hrs.

So now I am just leaving work at 3:50am, 1hr later than I should, because I have been hunting for $10 that this f**king student dropped next to the safe and failed to notice. I would rather use this money to gamble. Even if I lost it, it would be worth the entertainment, because I am certainly getting nothing for my money as it is.

goodnight.
poop.

Am I dying? pt.2 and I love Turkey Day

So the answer is they have no idea, so now I must see a rheumatologist. The blood tests were "inconclusive"

Actually, they wanted to just give me a prescription for a pain killer/muscle relaxer cocktail that should eliminate the pain of whatever it is I DO have, but I said I didn't want that. I want to know what is causing it because I am not taking drugs for this shit forever. If I did that, they would be seeing me again in 10yrs for liver failure.

I am really excited about Turkey day. This year, the hubs decided to invite some veg heads for Turkey day, which initially kind of annoyed me. I mean, the first time I get to cook for the big holiday and I have to find a soy bird or something. But now, I am cool with it. I have decided that everything but the turkey is a-ok for veggies, and therefore I am not changing my plans. I will make sure not to use chicken base in the soup. the end.
And even more exciting, we are going to try and go to the Macy's parade! Due to others' travel plans, it made more sense to do dinner on Friday, and so why not go to NYC to see a giant Bart Simpson? I'm in.

I can't make up my mind

I wonder what would happen if I quit my job. Just stopped coming and said I didn't feel like working here anymore. I can't say I have any good reason in particular to feel this way, but sometimes I just want to run away in general. Of course I can't because my husband and baby rely on me to bring home money to pay bills, buy food, etc. But what if....

Now, where I come from, people do this all the time - and by where I come from I mean the world of seasonal employment. For some reason, it's perfectly acceptable to change your life course every 6mos in this community. No one holds you to your own ambitions or tries to guilt you into being responsible. Unless you owe someone money(and sometimes not even then), people in this circle generally applaud your free spirit. Somehow, I feel like this is not how an announcment of quitting would be viewed in the world of normal people for that matter.

Let me be clear - there's nothing wrong with my job really. It's fairly easy, and I get paid well for it. But the time required for something that is so inconsequential to the world in general shouldn't have such a hold over me. Why is money so important?

The other problem with being an indecisive person that is also highly proned to changing their mind entirely, is that is often viewed as a mental health defect. I'm sorry, but from where I stand, there's nothing unhealthy about wanting to float away on a river without really considering coming back. This doesn't mean I don't love my husband, my son or my family - or that I would want to leave them behind. I love them dearly, and I couldn't imagine my life without them. It doesn't indicate that I am ungrateful or unhappy. Sometimes I just don't want to worry about money, social tact or waking up in the morning. I would prefer to stay in my dreams just a little longer.

I am dying?

Seriously doubt it, but then again, aren't we all?

As if I wasn't already in enough pain, I go to get blood drawn today at the Qwest lab, and the phlebotomist almost KILLED me.

Crazy phlebotomist lady: which arm?
me: both are difficult I'm told - take your pick

she chooses the right, and after tying me off, STABS me - as if she were giving me a shot of adrenaline, rather than drawing blood.
she then proceeded to swivel the needle around the inside of my arm looking for the vein

Crazy phlebotomist lady: wow - they aren't kiddin'. those things MOVE!
me: (through gritted teeth and tears - by the way I haven't cried while getting my blood drawn in probably 20yrs) have you found it yet????
Crazy phlebotomist lady: almost....(and she continues to go fishing for veins...)


Why I am getting blood drawn? well the latest theory is to rule out autoimmune diseases. this round included lupus and rheumatoid arthitis.

Having been variations of sick and in pain for yrs now, I have done a fair amount of browsing through medical websites, ya know - self diagnosing out of boredom - but I never looked at the above. Although I seriously doubt that I fall within the 1% of the population that has these ailments, I am encouraged to know that I have finally found a dr that listens and believes me when I say that I HURT and I don't want anymore painkillers!

I wish he had checked off every box on the lab rat check sheet so that I don't have to go back to get more blood taken.

I am not really a blog fan, but for lack of anything better to do.....

I don't expect to ever have anyone read this, so perhaps this will just be a journal of sorts.

I am fasting for a blood sugar test (because all fat people must be diabetic and all women must be pregnant before anything else.....grrrr I hate this medical assumption)

Yay! President Obama!